Sunday, October 26, 2008

Why nice guys don't get the girl

Or alternatively, what do women see in dangerous men?

First question first. You would think that women would go for a nice guy who treats them with respect and would never force their will on them and who are good friends with them- they would make good husbands and good fathers and would be good providers too. Unfortunately, women are looking for one other key factor in a man: safety. Can the man protect them from danger, can the man protect her from other men? This is where the nice guy falls down. If push came to shove would he fight for her or would she have to fight her own battles and protect herself? Some women prefer to be in control and face the world head on but most want to be protected from the world by someone stronger. This is the attraction of a dangerous man. No one wants to mess with them, and if you are theirs, then no one would want to mess with you. To that extent you are safe and have power over other men and also other women- because they are NOT safe from that dangerous man.

Another reason is of course people like danger and excitement and unpredictability in their lives.Only the most damaged want a totally safe environment. It gives you status and bragging rights. After all, you were brave enough to cuddle the tiger, to play with fire and most people don't have the guts, but you do. That guarantees a certain amount of popularity, which everyone craves.

The violent man also makes you feel special, because he's mean to others, but he's nice to you- you are the exception. That's very intoxicating. Unfortunately dangerous men are only nice to you until they've got you hooked. Then of course you realize there is a price to pay. Yes, no one else is going to hurt you but he will, eventually. They don't tolerate much because they don't have to. People are scared enough of them to give them their way all the time. You try to assert your authority over him it is not going to work- you always have to give in, and heaven help if you should ever get fed up and decide to leave- that puts you in terrible danger, because you have become their property and these kinds of people are very primitive, very territorial. They conquered that territory, it is theirs, until they, and only they decide to get rid of it. So yes, the women are safe from others, but not safe from the very person they are living with. Not a great trade-off.

So the best option most women go for is go for a nice guy who is safe, but who can also protect them if they are in danger. So if you are a nice guy, try learning Kung Fu!

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