Why nice guys don't get the girl

Or alternatively, what do women see in dangerous men?

First question first. You would think that women would go for a nice guy who treats them with respect and would never force their will on them and who are good friends with them- they would make good husbands and good fathers and would be good providers too. Unfortunately, women are looking for one other key factor in a man: safety. Can the man protect them from danger, can the man protect her from other men? This is where the nice guy falls down. If push came to shove would he fight for her or would she have to fight her own battles and protect herself? Some women prefer to be in control and face the world head on but most want to be protected from the world by someone stronger. This is the attraction of a dangerous man. No one wants to mess with them, and if you are theirs, then no one would want to mess with you. To that extent you are safe and have power over other men and also other women- because they are NOT safe from that dangerous man.

Another reason is of course people like danger and excitement and unpredictability in their lives.Only the most damaged want a totally safe environment. It gives you status and bragging rights. After all, you were brave enough to cuddle the tiger, to play with fire and most people don't have the guts, but you do. That guarantees a certain amount of popularity, which everyone craves.

The violent man also makes you feel special, because he's mean to others, but he's nice to you- you are the exception. That's very intoxicating. Unfortunately dangerous men are only nice to you until they've got you hooked. Then of course you realize there is a price to pay. Yes, no one else is going to hurt you but he will, eventually. They don't tolerate much because they don't have to. People are scared enough of them to give them their way all the time. You try to assert your authority over him it is not going to work- you always have to give in, and heaven help if you should ever get fed up and decide to leave- that puts you in terrible danger, because you have become their property and these kinds of people are very primitive, very territorial. They conquered that territory, it is theirs, until they, and only they decide to get rid of it. So yes, the women are safe from others, but not safe from the very person they are living with. Not a great trade-off.

So the best option most women go for is go for a nice guy who is safe, but who can also protect them if they are in danger. So if you are a nice guy, try learning Kung Fu!

Party Puzzle

Where is the party loot?

Puzzle

Jack had just gotten the much awaited computer game “Final Auto Theft Fantasy 4” and invited his friends over to play it and other computer games he had.
To be fair, everyone got 15 minutes on the new game, then someone else got a go.

The people who played it were:
Adam, Anton, Julian, Philip, Stephen, and of course Jack and his brother Justin. The clues refer only to their first names.

From the clues below, find out the order in which people played the game. Then answer the questions after to find out where to look for the next part of the treasure hunt.

Clues:

1.The first four to play it all had the letter “N” at the end of their name.
2.The 3rd, 4rth, fifth and sixth person each had a letter repeated in their name. (ie “George” has the letter “e” repeated.)
3.The first three kid's names were in alphabetical order
4.The last two were also in alphabetical order.

So the order of the kids was:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

Questions:

Second last letter of the fifth person is ______

Second letter of fourth person is ______

Third letter of sixth person is ______

Second letter of third person is ______

Fourth letter of second person is ______

Third last letter of the first person is ______

Third letter of the last person is ______

easy puzzle

I make original puzzles for treasure hunts for every time my kids have a birthday. Here's an easy one telling you where to find the next clue.

What you do is, cross out three of a kind- either three of the same shape, the same colour or the same letter- you can cross things out vertically, horizontally or diagonally in any direction and you can cross something out more than once. The remaining squares make a shape that tells you where to find the next clue.
It could mean several things so the next clue could be in several places but I originally meant it to lead to a beverage.

Aussie Xmas Card

Here's a card I painted years ago- it has a day and night version. Not sure which I like best.

Snake

Here's another picture that I will eventually turn into a puzzle, if anyone wants me to. This image might also make a nice birthday card, as would the one I published just before this one.

Cockroach eating a cupcake

I originally submitted this to a puzzle site where you make a picture and they turn it into the kind of puzzle where they give you a grid and tell you how many of each colour are in each row and column and from that others can recreate your picture. However the site rejected it because the picture grossed them out, so I'm putting it here. On request I'll make it into a puzzle, if you really want me to.

Another Original Puzzle for Teens and Adults

Here's another puzzle I invented, again for a treasure hunt. Solve the puzzle to find where the next clue is.

On being a Control Freak

I am a control freak. I don't like the unexpected, unless it happens during a timeslot that I've set aside for it. I am very good at reading people so I basically know what to expect from them in any situation, and i shy away from testing the waters by going outside safe territory with them. If they do go outside the expected and act immoraly, say, or unpleasantly, I immediately drop them because I don't like unpleasant feelings and I try to avoiud them at all costs, or at least delegate them to given times, when I know I'll be expecting them.
This need to control the world around me has made me more and more introverted and made me withdraw from other people, more and more. I've lived an exciting life and been in a lot of dangerous situations which I've mostly been able to turn around, but I'm less and less willing to take that risk. Sometimes I do get bored and want some adventure, so I'll slot in a new, unpredictable adventure, such a sdoing difficult bushwalks in unfamiliar places, or visiting new churches, learning a new religion, visiting pagan religious festivals, trying new walking trails with my dog. Each of these has grought new friends, new excitement and unpredictability and I love that. For a while. And then I need peace- to stay away from people, to become a hermit and be invisible for a while. I can't live up to people's expectations- I never could- I never wanted to. Whenever anyone looks up to me, I tend to bail. If anyone starts to think I'm special, I go out of my way to make them doubt their opinion of me so I can just melt into obscurity and be a nobody. Being a nobody is a safe option. No one picks on the invisible- it's the people who stand out that get burnt at the stakes, or persecuted, or raped. In the invisible state you aren't faced with moral dilemnas, you don't have to pretend, your world is quiet and predictable which means you can, to some extent, make it a perfect little world. Should some calamity happen to break that perfect world, then I just switch over to adventure mode and deal with that. I allocate a slot for dealing with it in my to do list and then suddenly it is manageable and under my control. That is why I'm glad when I have no e-mails or comments on my blog- no unexpected interactions, no unexpected emotions to hit me when I don't want to feel them. Sure, I like to feel excitement sometimes- but not outside of its planned timeslot. I lkike dealing with people, but not outside the planned timeslot- it's unexpected, I'm not prepared, I might blow it and say the wrong thing. I'm obsessed with being perfect, when I'm not I hate myself.
The roots ofr this were of course that my parents expected me to be perfect, and also, if anything, anything at all went wrong for them they could find a way to blame it on me. By being very very careful about every word I said and everything I did I could avoid their wrath about 70% of the time. I took that into my interactions with other people, even my own family- always be perfect in everything you say and everything you do and the world will be sweet. It works- I'm close to my husband and my children and I've been married for over 23 years. Still, this means people are work for me. I'm always afraid I'll screw up. I wonder if I'll ever get better?

You can quote me on that: followers,leaders and loners

If you are a follower you need to find someone to lead you to where you want to go, if you are a leader, you need to find followers to take to where you want to go, if you are a loner, you just go.

I made this up myself.